100 percent certifiably fresco- and calorie-free

Religion, oppression, circumcision, soccer, inebriation, cattle and Coke. Typical day.

Began Saturday with a solo trip to the Jewish museum, including a Daniel Libeskind-designed structure. It has three axes: The axis of continuity, the axis of exile and the axis of the holocaust, all telling different stories of Jews' experiences in Europe. The Garden of Exile, the Holocaust tower and, later, the fallen leaves, were the most powerful. The tower was almost haunting, while the garden, much like the memorial the day before, is very disorienting. Libeskind's choices sometimes are effective, sometimes seem a little underdeveloped. But still a compelling experience.

As for the "normal" museum (right down the street from Checkpoint Charlie), which traces 1,000 years of Jewish settlements in Germany (and Europe), one could spend hours upon hours there. Much of the information was surface-level, but there was so much of it and many interactive and novel displays kept the experience fresh. Though I respectfully disagree with their computer's suggested spelling of my name in Hebrew!

FUN FACT: There is no "J" sound in Hebrew. But "CH" is prominent ...

Being reminded of all the persecution -- even far before the holocaust -- is sobering. And the holocaust stories themselves, told with individual/family perspectives rather than broad strokes -- were sad and still unreal.

After a train adventure which included (unsuccessfully) trying to get my credit card back (the people at the station had no idea what I was talking about ... knowing a little German -- maybe around 4-foot-7 -- would've helped), I ventured over to Olympic Stadium, where Kathryn and I took in the Hertha BSC Berlin-Nurnberg match. (Wolfgang Sidka once played for Hertha). It was the final home match of the season for Hertha, which had little on the line other than possibly jumping to mid-pack in the Bundesliga. But Nurnberg is in danger of relegation, so they needed a point here.

The atmosphere was awesome. Fans (many presumably heavily inebriated) going nuts with their chants the entire time, led by one guy with a mic and sound system. It was 0-0 at the half, but Hertha scored off a turnover relatively late in the second half (though they blew a 3-on-1 counterattack that would have sealed it -- weak!) and barely held on as Nurnberg sent everyone up late and had a few good scoring chances. Nurnberg still has a shot next weekend to avoid relegation, but they clearly were dejected after losing this one.

"We clearly are dejected after losing this one," some coach or player may have said. In German.

The refs didn't even call it too tight despite the normal amount of flopping. And there were a couple of questionable calls, but not enough to think that this match was fixed. Though this is the Bundesliga ...

As for Hertha, the players walked around the stadium and then in front of the wild chanting section and hung out for 15-20 minutes, joining in the chants, jumping up and down, etc. -- probably because it was the final home match. It was wild. And a blast.

The stupid Cameron Crazies got nothing on these guys. The chants and jumping continued on the train, though many of the fans realized they should save the more wild chants for when the train isn't moving.

FUN FACT: A week or two ago a German train was derailed after colliding with a flock of sheep. No passengers were seriously hurt, but 20 sheep were killed.

If only the train had run over Flock of Seagulls instead ...

FUN QUOTE: "No sheep willingly walks through a tunnel," a representative for sheep farmers told Reuters on Monday. (Not making this one up.)

Days later, a German train plowed into a herd of cattle.

WTF!!

Anyway ... did I forget to mention the Coke Zero girls at the match? Berlin is rolling out all the stops.

Part of the culture shock... English and German are closer relatives, but I was able to understand far more Italian than German. Maybe my HS Spanish (close relative of Italian) is paying off ...

The craziest thing? It's not Bert and Ernie here. It's Ernie and Bert.

That's right, Bert. You might have the more German-sounding name, but Die Ernsters (that's what Ernie supporters are called here ... so I've just decided) have a more organized grassroots and lobbying effort.

The big campaign difference? Bert is for trains, Ernie is for cattle and sheep. Which clearly gives Bert an advantage, unless Ernie can, um, derail Bert's campaign.

Oh my... need to stop typing now.